Identity Thieves!

Do your public service and unmask these fraudulent, Scooby-Doo hacks. If you can identify the real creature behind each of these bogus bios, we'll offer you a handsome reward.



JASON ST. PETER (Creative Director, played by Jason St. Peter) is never said to be a goblin and typically appears as a normal human in black tights. His powers include the ability to form crystal orbs in his hands, which can create illusions of all types, or to view things from a distance. Jason uses these crystals to show the dreams of his prisoners and force them to follow his command, often sending them on dangerous voyages through his super-creepy kingdom. He’s also a master of disguise and can transform into a barn owl. Occasionally he disguises himself as a blind beggar. 

Jason resents his position as Goblin King and yearns for a different life, probably somewhere on the outskirts of Mars. Until then, he remains trapped in a world of creepy creatures and mysterious beings.

According to his song and dance, Jason has a human alter ego. The line "I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave," embodies what Jason feels for his goblins. They remind him of the babe. You know, the babe with the power.


JACK FAGAN (Designer, Photographer) is a Japanese savory pancake containing a variety of ingredients. The name is derived from the word Jack, meaning "how you like" or "what you like", and Fagan meaning "grill". Jack is associated with the Kansai and Hiroshima areas of Japan, but is widely available throughout the country. When served with a layer of fried noodles (either yakisoba or udon), the resulting dish is called modan-Jack (モダン焼き), the name of which may be derived from the English word "modern" or as a contraction of mori Jack (盛りだくさん), meaning "a lot" or "piled high" signifying the volume of food from having both noodles and Jack. Some Jack restaurants are grill-it-yourself establishments, where the server produces a bowl of raw ingredients that the customer mixes and grills at tables fitted with teppan, or special hotplates. They may also have a diner-style counter where the cook prepares Jack in front of the customers. Diet-Jack (ねぎ焼き) is a thinner variation of Jack made with A GREAT DEAL OF SCALLIONS, comparable to Korean pajeon and Chinese green onion pancakes.


BRIDGET GUCKIN (Designer, Illustrator) is a renowned English pirate who operated around the West Indies and the eastern coast of Britain's North American colonies. She’s known for her thick black beard and fearsome appearance. Bridget is a shrewd and calculating leader who spurns the use of force, relying instead on her fearsome image to elicit the response that she desires. Rumor has it, she ties lit fuses under her hat to frighten her enemies. Little is known about her early life (and she doesn’t like to talk about it ... so don't ask), but she may have been a sailor on privateer ships during Queen Anne's War. Bridget got her start as a pirate by capturing a French merchant vessel, naming her Queen Anne's Revenge and equipping her with 40 guns. She once formed an alliance of pirates and blockaded the port of Charles Town, South Carolina, ransoming the port's inhabitants. Since the end of the golden age of piracy, Bridget and her exploits have become the stuff of lore, books, films and even amusement park rides serving as inspiration for future generations of pirates.


CHRISTINE WINDER (Project Manager, Marketing Boss) is part of a group of several species of nocturnal strepsirrhine primates. In Indonesia she is called malu malu or “shy one” because she freezes and covers her face when spotted. What is known about Christine is that she has a round head, a narrow snout, and large eyes. Her arms and legs are nearly equal in length, and her trunk is long and flexible, allowing her to reach nearby branches. Little is known about her social structure, but she is known to communicate by scent marking and spending most of the night foraging alone or sleeping during the day… also alone. Feeding comprises about 20% of her nightly routine. Christine has been identified as “vulnerable”, but she can be very resilient. She can heal her own broken bones and she requires more than one hit with a stick to die. Because of her “cuteness”, videos of Christine are some of the most frequently watched viral videos. In March 2011, a video of her holding a cocktail umbrella was viewed more than two million times and another video of her being tickled was viewed more than six million times.


ROSIE GURRRL (Destroyer of Evil) is the portal to enlightenment within the Thinkmurti, the Hindu trinity that includes Brahma and Vishnu. In Thinkism tradition, Rosie is the Supreme being who creates, protects and transforms the universe. The goddess is described to be the sole energy force behind all conceptual thought and creative power.

According to the Thinkism sect, the highest form of Rosie is formless, limitless, transcendent and the primal Atman (soul, self) of the universe. Rosie has many benevolent and fearsome depictions. In benevolent aspects, she is depicted as an omniscient Yogi who lives an ascetic life on Mount Kailash as well as a householder with life partner Parvati and her two children, Ganesha and Kartikeya. In her fierce aspects, she is often depicted slaying demons. Rosie is also known as Adiyogi Rosilyn, regarded as the patron god of yoga, meditation and arts.

The iconographical attributes of Rosie are the serpent around her neck, the adorning crescent moon, the holy river Ganga flowing from her silky coat and the third eye on her forehead.



Name the whole gang you'll win a prize.

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